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Key: D Chords used:Standard guitar tuning:EADGBENo capoIntro
D---A---Bm---G--- x2Bass solo
D--A--Bm--G- x2D-A-Bm-G- x4
Beat Changes: D--A--Bm--G-- x2 Distortion: D--A--Bm--G-- x4Verse 1
D I talk to you every Anow and then Bm I never felt so aGlone again D I stop to think at a Awishing well Bm My thoughts send me on a Gcarousel D Here I am sAtanding on my Bmown Not a Gmotion from the teleDphone I know Anot a reason Bmwhy GSolitudes a reason to dieChorus
D Just you Emwait and AseeG As sDchool life Emis a A It is a Gwoken dream D Aren't you Emfeeling aAlone?G D I guess its just another Em I guess its just another A I guess its just another Gnight aloneInterlude
D--A--Bm--G-- x2Verse 2
D Now as I walk Adown the street Bm I need a job just to sGleep in sheets D Buying food every Aonce in a while Bm But not enough to Gpurchase a smile D A tank of gas is a Atreasure to me Bm I know now that Gnothing is free D I talk to you every Anow and then Bm I never felt so aGlone againInterlude
D--A--Bm--G-- x4C
End on D(hold) 2.) M+Ms Key: E Chords used:Intro
E--B--C#m--A-- x2Verse 1
E You and I should Bget away for aC♯mwhileA E I just want to Bbe alone with your sC♯mmileA E Buy some candy and Bcigarettes and we'll C♯mget in my Acar E We'll blast the sBtereo and we'll C♯mdrive to MadagasAcarChorus
Because when F♯mI'm with Ayou there's Enothing I wouldn't Bdo F♯m I just want to Abe your only EoneB F♯m I'm grasping Aout at straws E thinking back to Bwhat I saw That F♯mnight on the floor when Awe were all aEloneBVerse 2
E My love Blife was getting so C♯mblandA E There are only Bso many ways I can C♯mmake love with my Ahand E Sometimes it Bmakes me want to C♯mlaughA E Sometimes I Bwant to take my C♯mtoaster in the AbathC
Interlude
E--B--C#m--A-- x4Outro
E Who's gonna Bbe the odd man C♯mout?A E I dont wanna to Bbe the odd man C♯mout A E Is this Bgoing to be the C♯mend A E Or are Byou going to C♯mbe A My new girlEfriend? 3.) Fentoozler Key: B Chords used:Intro
B--F#--B--E--B--C#m--E--E-Ebm-C#m x2Verse 1
B At the risk of F♯sounding rude B Just who the fuck do you Ethink you are To tell Bme what you exC♯mpect of me toEdayE E♭m C♯m B Well you can take your F♯attitude B You're out of luck you've gone Eway too far If you Bthink there's any C♯mchance I'm gonna sEtayE E♭m C♯mChorus
C♯m How long can I sEtring you along How Blittle of myF♯mself can I give C♯m And still make Eyou believe I BcareEVerse 2
B At the risk of F♯sounding trite B Just why the fuck do you Ethink you're right About Bevery little C♯mthing that you EsayE E♭m C♯m B And do you think that F♯it is right B For Tom to spend aEnother night Writing Bsongs about all the C♯mpeople he thinks are EgayE E♭m EC
Guitar solo
B--F#--B--E--B--C#m--E--E-Ebm-C#m x2C
Outro
B--F#--B--E(hold) 4.) Touchdown Boy Key: E Chords used:Intro
E--E-Ebm-C#m-B--A-G#m-F#m x6 E--C#m--B--A-- x2 E--B--A--E-- x2E--A--E/G#--F#m--E--A--B--Verse 1
Tom: E There's this one C♯mguy B There's no one like him in Aall the world Cause Eyou can C♯malways see Those Bgirls down Aon their knees In EthoseC♯m B dark sweaty Arooms EPlanning C♯mout his thoughts He's Bwaiting Afor just the rightChorus
Tom: EOne by one as theyB Walk right through the door theyA Keep on coming back I E Guess they just want more He has Efun fun fun and you B Might call him a whore but A Just look where he's at 'cause E He is the one that scores Go!Interlude
E--E-Ebm-C#m-B--A-G#m-F#m x4Verse 2
Mark: E Well tomA looks like he's passing the balGl To the tight end Tom: E I wasn't sure if he Knew that that Atight end used to be A wide reciever but uhE little does he Know yeah Mark: E he wont be alone this Bweekend Tom: I don't thinkA that's funny that you sayG That because uhE like a dog he's Aloyal to his boneB AVerse 3
Tom: E I saw my friend C♯mthere B Out on the Afield today I Easked him C♯mwhere he's going he Bsaid "AAll the way," nowC
Outro
E--E-Ebm-C#m-B--A-G#m-F#m x4E
5.) Strings Key: D then C Chords used:Intro
D--A--Em--G-- x4Verse
D I would do anything And that'sA what scares me so bad Em Don't want to live my life aGlone Don't want to go back to what I Dhad Don't want to spend my life withAout All these special Emthings Don't want to walk around Being Gtied to anyone else'sChorus
C SC/EtriiiiiiiiiiFings sCtringsC E F SCtriiiC/EiiiiiiiFings sCtringsC E FInterlude
D--A--Em--G-- x2C
C(hold)--Guitar solo
D--A--Em--G-- x2C
End on C(hold) 6.) Peggy Sue Key: A Chords used:Intro
A--D--A--E-D-A--Verse 1
A I know what it's F♯mlike to be aDlone sitting in your EroomF♯m E A Listening to F♯mall those doubts thatD your parents Ehave to F♯msay Eto Ayou And as your head gets all F♯mcluttered inside D Try to stay aEwakeF♯m E A Everything they F♯msay are lies D That's all the shit that you Eever F♯mhave to EtakeChorus
() Chords in parenthesis are only done by bass So Dhold in all your aggAressions Because your EgrGin-dF♯ming your tEeeth on dDown to A The bottomE of your chin It's not Deasy or so damn Apleasing To not laughE Gat eF♯mverythEing they sDay as A They tell you Ewhat to be you're not aloneVerse 2
A I know what it's F♯mlike to be deDnied at everything Eyou doF♯m E A It's not the F♯msame reason why thatD Makes you change the Ethings that F♯myou Eonce Aknew As your head gets all F♯mcluttered inside D Give more than you EtakeF♯m E A Everything they F♯msay are lies D That's all the shit that you Eever F♯mhave to EtakeInterlude
Bass solo
A--E-D- x2Bridge
You say you Awant to take off your shoes toE Walk barefoot Ddown the street Just to Abe the things that you can beE Just live for Done more week go!Interlude
A--E-D- x2You say you Awant to take off your shoes toE Walk barefoot Ddown the street Just to Abe the things that you can beE Just live for Done more weekC
Outro
A
7.) Sometimes Key: G Chords used:Intro
Em-C-G-D- x6
Verse 1
Em Oh how I Cwish that they would GlastD Em Moments of Cpeace that just slip Gthrough me so Dfast Em Just when I Cthink that they areG gonna sDtay Em Everything inCside me just sGtarts fading aDwayChorus
C Sometimes it seems like all I Ghope for Just gets thrown down on the Emfloor And then it seems like you don't Clove me anymore C Sometimes I wish that I couldG run away Em Sometimes I wish I just had Csomething to sayInterlude
Em-C-G-D- x4
Verse 2
Em She looks at Cme and doesn't Gknow the words to Dsay Em Oh it's not Cyou I just don't Gfeel quite right toDday Em All these Cthings I say and Gdo were never Dplanned Em But how the Cfuck am I supposed to Gmake you undersDtand thatOutro
Em-C-G-D- x2
8.) Does My Breath Smell? Key: C Chords used:Intro
C Who makes up all the G/Brules about those Fgirls I want?G/B C Who tells them G/Ball to laugh?F Who tells them Gall to talk about Cme? And I'm not sure what my G/Bpurpose is for Fbeing hereG/B C Why do theyG/B why do they F Always kick me in the G/Bgroin when I come near (And I'm not complaining it just hurts after a bit)Beat Changes: C--F--C--G-- x2Verse 1
C I don't know G/Bwhat I'm feeling F I'm just so G/Bsick of seeing C All those dumb G/Blame and reFtarded G/Bbroads C Who often G/Bjust sit kick back F As I am G/Bnot so relaxed C I often G/Bwonder why they Fact so G/BoddChorus
Because no Fworse a time When it's Gjust your time to C Think you should Ammake your move It Fdoesn't work cause you're Gjust a jerk with no excuseInterlude
C--F--C--G-- x2Verse 2
C What about that G/Bsituation F All night proG/Bcrastination C Take her to the G/Bpoint when you Flead her to her G/Bdoor C There is nothing G/Bleft there to say F I guess you G/Bbest be on your Cway But before you G/Bgo you've got to Fdo that G/BchoreC
Drum solo
Interlude
C--F--G--F-- x2Bridge
C Please won't you Fbuy in I'm always Gtrying I keep on Ftrying C There's only so much Fpride that I can GloseF C I hope that when you Fsee me You see right Gthrough me Come on now Fhonestly C I'm so sick of Fending up without a GclueFOutro
C--F--C--G-- x2 C(hold)9.) Cacophony Key: C Chords used:Intro
Bass solo
C/E-Gsus-Am-F- x2
Guitar: C/E-Gsus-Am-F- x4 Distortion: Am--F--Am--Gsus--F- Guitar: C/E-Gsus-Am-F- x2Verse 1
C/E When you Gsustalk about toAmmorrowF C/E I'm not Gsussure about toAmdayF C/E when you Gsustell me that you Amlove meF C/E what am GsusI supposed to Amsay?FChorus 1
Am Sometimes FI don't feel Am the same Gsusway as Fyou feelInterlude
C/E-Gsus-Am-F- x2
Verse 2
C/E Words Gsuslike forAmeverF C/E they scare the Gsusshit out of Amme F C/E maybe GsusI'm afAmraid of comFmitment C/E maybe Gsusyou're too disAmtracted to Fsee thatC
Beat Changes: C--F--C/E--F-G- x2Bridge
C I think of Amall the things that I'd Fsay to you if I had the chance again C I think of Amall the things that I'd sFcreamC but I think it's Amfor the best F that you and I just don't connect and C things are Amnever quite what they FseemG/BInterlude
C--F--C/E--F-G- x2Refrain
Em Will there Fever beC someone to Ggive her heart to me Em or would I Fbe to blind to Csee itEm I wouldn't Fmake a sound C I'd keep it Gunderground Em It always Fseems like I'm Crunning around around Grunning around aG/Bround roundInterlude
C--F--C/E--F-G- x4Chorus 2
Am Sometimes FI don't feel Am the same Gsusway as Fyou feelG/B C 10.) TV Key: F then C Chords used:Intro
Bass solo
F--Bb-- x4, F-Bb-Gm-Bb- x2 Distortion: F--Bb-- x4, F--Gm--Am--Bb--Verse 1
When FI'm at work ya I always rush right B♭home for lunch So FI can check out what's up on the B♭Brady Bunch And Fwhen I'm walking through the front B♭door at night I Fgotta see who's winning on The B♭Price is Right ohChorus
F I never B♭dreamed that I'd sGmpend my B♭days SFtaring at some B♭tube emitting Gmcathode B♭raysF B♭ Gm B♭ I need my TFV B♭ Gm B♭Verse 2
What's Fhappening in this world I don't B♭care at all But it Fbetter not pre-empt Monday B♭Night Football I Fcan't even come up with B♭my own views I'm Ftaught how to think from the B♭evening news ohInterlude
C--A--G--C-- x2Bridge
CLa la la la la AmLa la la la la GLa la la la la CLa la la la laOutro
F--Bb-- x4, F--Gm--Am--Bb- x2, F(hold) 11.) Toast And Bananas Key: A Chords used:Intro
My pants are rough right nowA Do you wanna Eknow what I think of F♯myou? Cause you're not the Dway I thought you should Abe To take back Ewhat you said F♯m It's time to fix it's Dtime to fix your Ahead And now all aElone one's less than F♯mtwo I've never been Dbetter off living loneAly To listen to Ewhat you say F♯m I couldn't care Dless of what you say Beat Changes: A--C#m-D x8Verse 1
A What did you Ethink of me acting F♯mthis way I guess you never Dreally thought at Aall Is that what you Ecall your brain? F♯m Is that why I Dcall you hang up on Ame? I wanted to Eknow I don't want to F♯mlose And now I'm a Dman who's just living sAmall Listen to Ewhat you say F♯m I couldn't care Dless of what you...Chorus 1
...ASay To me as I Ewalk alone I'd F♯m Much rather be Driding prone then To Abe just aEnother one you are F♯mlame tooDInterlude
A---C#m-D-- x4Verse 2
A I wanted to Eknow I don't want to F♯mlose But now I'm a Dman who's just living sAmall To listen to Ewhat you say F♯m I couldn't care Dless of what you...Chorus 2
...Asay to me As I F♯mtune you out of my Dmind Won't Abend over backwards or F♯mTake another step ahead Dto Hear from Eyou again Don't Atalk to me as I Ewalk alone I'd F♯m Much rather be Driding prone than ABe just aEnother one you are F♯mlame tooDGuitar solo
A--E--F#m--D-- x4Chorus 3
Don't Atalk to me as I F♯mtune you out of my Dmind I Won't Abend over backwards or F♯mTake another step ahead Dto Hear from Eyou again Don't Atalk to me as I Ewalk alone I'd F♯m Much rather be Driding prone than ABe just aEnother one you are F♯mlame tooD End on A(hold) 12.) Wasting Time Key: E Chords used:Intro
E-A-C♯m-B- x2
A-E-C#m-B--x3, A-E-C#m--B--A----E-A-C♯m-B- x2
Verse 1
E I'm wasting time thinAking about a girl C♯m And stealing her aBway from her world E She and I would Brun awayC♯m I think of all the Bthings that I'd say E We'd talk about imAportant things C♯m And I picture it Bin my dreams E She'd teach me about Amodern art AndC♯m I'd show her it's oBkay to fart andChorus
A Maybe EI'd impress her C♯m By being Bin a band and A Maybe if I Eact real tough C♯m She'd let me Bhold her hand andA Maybe I'll Ewin her heart C♯m By writing this Bsong about her A Sometimes I Esit at home and C♯mWonder if she's sitting at home BThinking of me and wondering if I'm ASitting at home thinking about her Or am I just wasting my timeInterlude
E-A-C♯m-B- x2
Verse 2
E Remembering how she Alaughed at Kinko's C♯m When I made Bfun of that guy E Remebering the Alook she gave me When I C♯mtold her that I Bused to fry E I really want to Aask her out C♯m But my ego could Bnever take it E And even if I Agot the balls You C♯mknow that the Cougar would Bnever make it Aohh EI And C♯min my town you Bcan't drive naAkedE C♯m BC
Outro
E A C♯m Am BI just wasting my EtimeA C♯m Am BI just wasting my EtimeA C♯m Am BI just wasting my EtimeA C♯mWasting my time Bthinking about a Agirl E 13.) Romeo And Rebecca Key: A then C Chords used:Intro
A-Bm-C♯m-D- x4
Bass solo
A-Bm-C♯m-Bm- x
Verse 1
A Walking through the Egrass F♯m Another blade next to Eyou from the Aground As the wind does Epass F♯m I notice as you Efeel the breath of my Ashout Your words are EkindF♯m The kind that reEpeatedly say Ano But that's alEright F♯m I'm older than Eyou so I've got...Chorus 1
...Ctime What have you saidAm reach out your handG There's a black Fshadow on my Cwall But as I lookAm into my mind G I can see that Fgirls are a waste of timeVerse 2
A We've all seen the Ebridge F♯m A broken seam and a Egirl on one Aside You think your words will Ework F♯m They only work when you Elay down and close your Aeyes I thought of all the Elines F♯m All the right ones Eused at all the wrong Atimes But that's alEright F♯m Depression's just a sarEcastic state of...Chorus 2
...Cmind What have you saidAm reach out your handG There's a black Fshadow on my Cwall But as I lookAm into my mind G I can see that Fgirls are a waste of timeInterlude
C-G-Em-D- x2
Bridge
A I don't want to Bmlive aC♯mloneD AI don't Bmwant to live in C♯m My broken Ddreams of you AI don't Bmwant to live aC♯m---lone with My Dbroken dreams of you A I don't Bmwant to live aC♯m---lone with My Dbroken dreams of youOutro
A-E-F♯m-E- x2 A(hold) 14.) Ben Wah Balls Key: D Chords used:Intro
Tom: No we ain't gonna take it unless it's from a doverman pincher Ladies and gentlemen Scott: for your listening pleasure Blinkgooey gooey goo)D--G--D--A--D--A--G-- D--G--D--Bm-A--D--Bm-A-G-- x3D--Bm--A--G-- x2Verse 1
D Passively one Bmday as the Asun rose out of it's Ghouse D So did this Bmlittle old guy as he Awhistled out of his Gmouth And Dhappily and Bmgay Well I Aguess not exactly Gthat BecauseD he found a sBmpecial girl A That put him in a sGpecial tranceChorus 1
D He fell in Glove so quickly D What the hell was Bmhe Ato exDpect That the girl Bmunder his Aarm wasn't the Gsame D As any Gother girlD That he had Bmthought that Ahe once Dmet I guess Ayou could only blame GfateInterlude
D--Bm--A--G-- x2Verse 2
D Things started Bmgetting weird as they sAtarted to GkissD She often Bmfelt his beard and reAmembered how her Gfather she'd missed And Dthen quietly one Bmday He sang a Asong from deep wiGthin his heart D Causing some inBmgestion A He finished with a Ggreat big fart andChorus 2
D She knew at tGhat one moment D That song was Bmsomething she'd Aheard beDfore D So she Bmasked him to Ado it aGgain D Then out the Gdoor they hurried D She was gonna Bmfind Aout for Dsure So she BmanaAlyzed his rear Gend Beat Changes: D-Bm-A-G- x4Bridge
She said When DI was a little Bmgirl my Adad left my Gmom D He used to Bmalways fart and Asing this special Gsong Now DI wasn't quite so Bmsure until Ayour pants did Gfall Cause Dnow I know that Bmyou're my dad because Ayou use Gben wah balls I said a Dwah wah wah-wah-wah BmWah wah-wah-wah AwahG ben wha Dballs wah wahBm wah-wah-wah AWah wah-wah-wah wah ben wah GballsInterlude
Beat Changes backD--A-- x4Outro
D--G--D--Bm-A--D--Bm-A-G-- x2, D(hold)15.) Just About Done Key: G Chords used:Intro
Drumbeats Em--Em-G-Em-F#-B--G-F#- Em--Em-G-Em-F#-Bb--G-F#- Em--Em-G-Em-F#-B--G-F#- Em--Em-G-Em-F#-Bb--G-F#-Em-G-F♯-Em- x8
Verse
Em Just about done with your butt we'll let you know HEY!Em Bass Just about done with your butt we'll let you know Just about done with your butt we'll let you know Just about done with your butt we'll let you know Just about done with your butt we'll let you know Just about done with your butt we'll let you know Just about done with your butt we'll let you know 16.) Depends Key: D Chords used:Intro
Verse 1
Tom: D I don't want to Aurinate on myGself D I don't want to AurinateG on anyone Aelse D Well, I guess that Areally doesn't Gmatter anymore D Because I can't conAtrol my Gbladder anyAmoreChorus 1
Tom: D G A Well I guess it all deDpendsG Mark: undergarments Tom: D G A Well I guess it all deDpendsG Mark: undergarments Tom: A Step back in the DlightA No more Gsoiled nights aloneA But I guess DI don't have a cGare Because there's notA a load in my underwearVerse 2
Mark: D I'm sick of ofAfending everyone I Gmeet (go go go go) D I'm sick of Acrying myself to sGleep on rubber Asheets (go) D I had an Aaccident toGday D I left a Asoiled bus seat G I didn't know Awhat to sayChorus 2
Mark: D G A But I guess it all deDpendsG Tom: undergarments Mark: D G A Well I guess it all deDpendsG Tom: undergarments Mark: A Step back in the DlightA No more Gsoiled nights aloneA Well I guess I didn't DI have to care if GI don't have a Aload in my underDwear Tom: Uh anyway uh well as I was saying my dog nice dog bending over uh If you dropped your keys you'd bend over too Scott: Uh so uh well uh just wanna say thank you all for coming to the sperm bank Do you have a question there? Mark: Shit Scott That aki-mofo be messing with my lady gotta be running cold upsidedown his head you know what I'm sayin mans? Hey holmes I can dig it that brotha ain't gonna pick up on you man i say hey Scott, So to say i want to say pretty J I did the same-ol same-ol hey knock yourself on a post lick the gray metal fat man before he was down I take tcb'in man Hey you know what they say you see about to get that bottie yacker you lay her down and slackum yackum cold gotta be ya know man SHIT Tom: Uh are you uh feelin' all right? Mark: Oh man jamofoba lay me to the bone and she's jackin me up tightly! Alright Get out the scissors and get in place Ready? Now start choppin Tom: Hey man someone spotted me it's heavy! Mark: Alright now heave it on down here! (sound of someone or something falling down the stairs) Tom: Okay it's all the way down there! Mark: Aw who taught you how to throw the dick down the stairs?
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