Standard (EADGBE)

Who maddest one on the M1

Who hasn't stopped sucking his thumb

Who very straight and never grins

Who cares what car he's driving in

He is because he saw it on a commercial break

And if he doesn't get what

He wants then he'll get a headache

Because he wants it, needs it, almost loves it

He's here on his own, on globe alone

Who joined health club to glisten

Into hi fi precision

Who's mobile phone gives him the bone

Who very keen on Sharon Stone

Who only eats at the new Brasserie

Who only ever gets merry

Who wouldn't be seen at bed time

Without putting Calvin Kleins on