Bo Burnham - Ironic Chords

Standard guitar tuning: 
E
A
D
G
B
E
No capo


DMy dog's stomach wasA very upset,
DSo I put him in the car Aand we went to the vet.
DAnd on our way to theA vet,
I killed a catD. A   D
I said isn't that ironicD? A   D

DI adopted a child from Aover seas,
Dto rescue him from child labor Afactories,
AndD on his very first Abirthday we went to Build-A-Bear WorkshoDp.A  D
iDsn't that Aironic D
                  D        G      D       A
I said isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C?

DA water-park is Gburnt to the ground,
DAnd a toe-truck has Abroken down.
DI always use to Acry when I laughed,
Dand then I was malested by a clown. D   G     D       A
Isn't that ironic?D  A    D

 G

I was watching Al Gore on CNN,
He was talking, and talking, and talking,
and then,
Out of boredom, my pet polar bear shot himself.

I dated an animal rights activist,
and one day she got really pissed,
Because I was eating veal,
That was wrapped in pita (PETA) bread.

Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C?

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch,
And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncle's pull-out couch.

If everyday you play the board-game Risk,
You probably never taken a risk in your life.
And Monopoly has far from the stranglehold on the board game market.
A little kid died from suffocation, when he choked a game piece from Operation.
And I can't grow a beard.
That one's not ironic, that one's just sad.

Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant.

My grandfather had Alzheimer's and one day we were...