Standard (EADGBE)

This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you

It never gets better or worse

But you get used to it, after a spell

For heaven is hell in reverse

The bruiser spun a hula hoop

As all the barmen preen and pout

The neon "I" of "night club" flickers

On an off and finally blew out

The irritating jingle of the belly dancing phoney turkish girl

The eerie glare of ultraviolet perfect dental work

This is hell, I am sorry to tell you

It never gets better or worse

But you get used to it, after a spell

For heaven is hell in reverse

The failed Don Juan in the big bow-tie

Is very sorry that he spoke

For he?s mislaid his punchline more than

Halfway through a very tasteless joke

The Fr?ulein caught him peeking down her gown

He?s yelling in her ear

And all at once the music stopped

As he was intimately bellowing "My dear..."

This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you

It never gets better or worse

But you get used to it, after a spell

For heaven is hell in reverse

The shirt you wore with courage

And the violent nylon suit

Reappear upon your back

And undermine the polished line

You try to shoot, it?s not the torment

Of the flames that finally see your flesh corrupted

It?s the small humiliation that your memory piles up

This is hell, this is hell

"My favourite thing" is playing again an again

But it?s by Julie Andrews and not by John Coltrane

Endless balmy breezes and perfect sunsets framed

Vintage wine for breakfast and naked starlets floating in Champagne

All the passions of your youth

Are tranquilised and tamed

You may think it looks familiar

Though you may know it by another name

This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you

It never gets better or worse

But you get used to it, after a spell

For heaven is hell in reverse

This is hell, this is hell.

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