Standard (EADGBE)
If I was the Lone Ranger hidin' behind a mask
There wouldn't be any danger to the questions I ask
Whatcha say Pocahontas, trade in your feathers and beads
For an electric blanket and a packet of cigs
"You bet", that's what she said
If I had me a needle for every bubble I popped
Bind 'em all like one, you would hear that pin drop
Like a gunshot, like a shot
If I was a world leader, I would not mislead the world
I would not miss anything
Miss America knows that it's only a pagaent, that's it's only a show
Isn't any film in the camera, these aren't even my clothes
No, no, no, no, Miss America knows
You remember Houdini, not a shackle could hold
Cut a trapdoor into heaven to escape growin' old
Guess he just couldn't hack it, bundled up for the cold
Double-breasted straightjacket, French handcuffs of gold
No, no, no, no, he escaped grown' old