Standard (EADGBE)

Intro

(Spoken):

One, two.

Verse 1

If you ever hear a noise in the night;

Your body starts to sweat, it shakes and shivers in fright.

You go and sleep with your mother; she hates your guts,

She knows that you love her, so she holds you tight,

All through the night, until the broad day-light.

And when she doesn't come home, you have to sleep a-lone,

Then you wet your bed and I think that's sad;

For a girl of nine-teen, it's more than sad; it's ob-scene.

Chorus 1

(Spoken):

One, two.

Verse 2

And your girlfriend sweet; little seventeen,

She's got her layered hair and her flared jeans.

You know what that means? She's just a little queen,

She shares your London flat;

She thinks that London's where it's at; although it stinks!

And when it rains, you wear your hat,

And your plum coloured PVC, wet look maxi-mac.

You tie your ginger hair back in a bun;

You're the ugliest creature, under the sun.

Chorus 2

(Spoken):

One, two.

Solo

Chorus 3

(Spoken):

One, two.

Verse 3

And you think it's about time that you died,

And I a-gree; so you decide on suicide.

You tried, but you never quite carried it off;

You only wanted to die in order to show off.

And if you think you're gonna bleed all over me;

You're even wronger than you'd normally be.

And the only things you want to see are kitsch,

The only thing you want to be is rich.

Your little pink, up-pointed nose be-gins to twitch;

I know, you know; you're just a little bitch.

Chorus 4

(Spoken):

One, two.

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