E

+ This file is Jordan Lapping’s own work and represents his +

+ interpretation of the song. You may only use this file for +

+ private study, scholarship, or research. The contents may not +

TABULATURE LEGEND:

(x) = muted strings

(/) = slide

(~) = let it ring

N/C = No Chord

Intro

Verse 1

Charlie Brown had a big block head, wore a stripey sweater every day (Ah-oh)

Tried to kick that football, but Lucy always pulled the motherfucker away (Ah-oh)

Flew a kite just to try to relax, but he always put that shit in a tree (Ah-oh)

And the little red-headed girl wouldn't give no play to poor Chuck B...

They were the baddest fuckers in the funny papers... PEANUTS!

Verse 2

Onto a security blanket, Linus Van Pelt would latch (Ah-oh)

Snuggled up to that bitch to keep warm while waiting in a pumpkin patch (Ah-oh)

Had a stalker named Sally Brown and she always tried to get her some (Ah-oh)

She loved the way he knew the meaning of Christmas

And the sexy way he sucked that thumb...

Well, Marma Duke's a homo; Garfield is a pussy... PEANUTS!

Chorus 1

Oh Peanuts, crazy Peanuts

A bunch of kids trying to be free

Take my hand and let's dance now

Under Charlie's shitty Christmas Tree

............................ PEANUTS!

Verse 3

Oh, Marcy was best friends with Patty, Patty Peppermint (Ah-oh)

She would love to do things to that girl that Charles M. Schulz can't print (Ah-oh)

Pigpen was a dusty dude who couldn't keep his own ass clean (Ah-oh)

All the teachers said "Wah wah wha wha wha" - what does that shit mean?

Well, Big Bird ain't the only yellow bird in town... WOODSTOCK!

Chorus 2

Oh Peanuts, crazy Peanuts

Poor Charlie Brown, you will never get laid

It's so hard to get pussy

When you're the baldest kid in second grade

............................ PEANUTS!

Verse 4

Lucy was a psychiatrist but her comments always gave offence (Ah-oh)

And the bitch couldn't make no money

'Cause she'd charge a motherfucker five cents (Ah-oh)

You know the ladies love some Schroeder 'cause he played the '88s real good (Ah-oh)

And Franklin was a real cool cat, but the only brother in that hood...

Sometimes you have to shout "Good grief" unto the heavens... GOOD GRIEF!

Chorus 3

Oh Peanuts, crazy Peanuts

Snoopy fly your plane and fly it quick

You're the World War I Flying Ace

Make Red Baron suck that Beagle dick, yeah!

Bridge

La na na, na na na, naa naaa

La na na naa................

La na na, na na na, naa naaa

Laa na naa... ohh-ohh-oooohhh

Outro

D|--7777--777--55--5~~~--|

A|--5555--777--33--5~~~--|

E|--5555--555--33--3~~~--|

Oh Peanuts, crazy Peanuts

A bunch of kids trying to be free

Take my hand and let's dance now

Under Charlie's shitty Christmas Tree...

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