Standard (EADGBE)
In the woods of Northern Michigan, he made his home
Didn't ask much from the world, just wanted to be alone
He got his first real blade at thirteen; that's when it all began
And soon the creatures of the forest called him "Whittlin' Man" - yeah!
He whittled all day and he whittled all night
He whittled, whittled, whittled everything in sight
He whittled on a stick and he whittled on his shoe
And if you come too close, gonna whittle you too
Keep a safe distance if you can
'Cause you're never safe around Whittlin' Man
Had a stump to sit on; had some wood, had his trusty knife
Whittled out a house, a car, and he whittled himself a wife(Such a beautiful wife!)
Whittled out four kids, a swimming pool and a big leer jet
And so he wouldn't miss Saved By The Bell, when he whittled a T.V. set - yeah!
He'd whittle if its light, and he'd whittle if its dark
And if Noah was around, well he'd whittle him an ark
He'd whittle something new and he'd whittle something old
He'd whittle something hot and he'd whittle something rather chilly
Keep a safe distance if you can
'Cause you're never safe around Whittlin' Man
Some say "Whittlin' Man's a genius", still others say "He's just dumb"
He whittled off a foot, an ear, three fingers and his left thumb... Boy, is he dumb!
That won't stop him, no it won't - he'll whittle through thick and thin
And once he's whittled everything, he'll just whittle it all again - yeah!
He'd whittle if it's white, and he'd whittle if it's black
And he'd whittle on a duck 'til the duck can't quack
He'd whittle if it's dry, and he'd whittle if it's juicy
Whittled on Desi and he whittled on Lucy
Whittled JFK and he whittled Jackie O
Whittled old Larry and Curly and Moe
And he whittled Frank Zappa and he whittled Tipper Gore
Whittle, whittle, whittle 'til he can't no more
Whittled Shamu and he'd whittle on Jaws
Whittled the Easter Bunny and he whittled Santa Claus
He'll whittle, whittle, whittle just fast as he can
Whittle till he's dead - he's the Whittlin' Man...