Standard (EADGBE)
Intro
Chorus
(D/ - - )
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
(D/ - - )
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
Verse 1
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair
But he doesn't get nervous
She's not really there
Chorus
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
Verse 2
Tour the world in a heavy metal band
But they run out of gas
The plane can never land
Chorus
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing
Verse 3
What's the sense in ever thinking about the tomb
When you're much too busy returning to the womb?
Chorus
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing