Weird Al Yankovic - Albuquerque Chords

Main Riff
Chorus 1 Riff
 
         
         
         
         
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10 fr
         
         
         
         
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10 fr
         
         
         
         
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11 fr
         
         
         
         
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3 fr
         
         
         
         
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8 fr
         
         
         
         
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1
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2
4
3
         
         
         
         
1
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8 fr
         
         
         
         
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6 fr
         
         
         
         
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8 fr
         
         
         
         
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8 fr
         
         
         
         
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X
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7 fr
         
         
         
         
1
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1
1
1
1
         
         
         
         
X
1
X
2
4
3
         
         
         
         
X
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7 fr
         
         
         
         
1
X
1
1
1
X
2 fr
         
         
         
         
X
1
3
1
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7 fr
         
         
         
         
1
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9 fr
         
         
         
         
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12 fr
         
         
         
         
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2
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X
         
         
         
         
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4 fr
         
         
         
         
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7 fr
         
         
         
         
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2 fr
         
         
         
         
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4 fr
         
         
         
         
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9 fr
         
         
         
         
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4 fr
         
         
         
         
X

B

variations
         
         
         
         
X
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6 fr
         
         
         
         
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10 fr
         
         
         
         
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No chord
Standard guitar tuning:
E
A
D
G
B
E
No capo
   F         B        Fm7       Bm7
E--1--    E--1--    E--1--    E--1--|
B--1--    B--3--    B--1--    B--2--|
G--2--    G--3--    G--1--    G--1--|
D--3--    D--3--    D--1--    D--3--|
A--3--    A--1--    A--3--    A--1--|
E--1--    E--1--    E--1--    E--1--|
E-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-8h10p8-|-------------|
B-------------|-------------|-------------|--10---------|
G-------------|-------------|-------------|-----10------|
D-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------|
A-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------|
E-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------|
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in aF bFox under the stairs in the corner of the basement of thFe Fhouse half a block down the street from Jerry?s Bait ShFopF? You know the place? Well anyway, back then life was FgoFing swell and everything was juuuuusFt Fpeachy? except of course for the undeniablFe Ffact that every single morning myF mFother would make me a big old bowl of sauerkraut forF bFreakfast. Daaaaaaaouh! BFig Fbowl of
 F    F
sauerkraut!
E-13------------|
B---13p10-------|
G--------10-----| F       F       F                              F F
D---------------| Every single morning! It was driving me crazy. I said to
A---------------|
E---------------|
my mom, I said, ?Hey mom, what?s up with all the sauFerFkraut?? And my dear sweet mother she justF lFooked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming traiFn.F And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, ?It?s gFoodF foFr yFou!? B B B B And then she tFied me toF the wall Fand stuFck a fBunnel iBn my moutBh and fBorce-fed Fme nFothFing Fbut saBuerkrauBt until IB was twentBy-six and Fa hFalf years old. That?s when I swore that FsoFmeday, someday I would get out of that basement and tFraFvel to a magical far away place where the Fsun is always shining and the aBir smells like warm root beerF and the towels are oh so fluffyB, where the sFhriners and the lepers play their uBkulele?s all day long and aFnyone on the street?ll gladly sBhave you?re back for a nFickel. WBakaBwakadBooBdoo Fyah! Well let me tell you people, that it wasn?t long at all before myF dFream came true because the very next dayF aF local radio station had this contest to see who could FcoFrrectly guess the number of molecules in LeonarFd FNeroy?s butt. I was off by three but I stillF wFon the grand prize. That?s right Fa Ffirst class one-way ticket, to FA Fm7 B- Bm7 lbuFquerque,B F AF Fm7 -B Bm7 lbuFquerque!B Ah yah, you know I never been on a real airplane before and IF gFotta tell ya it was really great. FExFcept that I had to ist between two large AlbaniaFn Fwomen with excruciatingly severe body odour and theF lFittle kid in back of me kept throwing up the whole timeF. FThe flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanutFs Fand the in flight movie was "Biodome" with Polly ShoFreF. And oh yah three of the airplane's engines burned down and we Fwent into a tailspin and Bcrashed into a hillside and the plFane exploded in a giant fBireball and evFerybody died! Except for me. You know why? ?Cause I hFad my train table upB, and my Fseat back in the full uprBight position, had my tFrain table upB, and my sFeat back in the full uprigBht position, had my tFrain table up,B and my sFeat back in the full upriBght position. Ah ha ha ha! Oh ha ha! Ahhhh. So IF cFrawled from the twisted burnin? wreckage, I F F crawled on my hands and knees for three full dayFs,F dragging along my big lFeather suitcase, and my gaBrment bag, and my tFenor saxophone, and my tBwelve-pound bowling ball and my lFucky lucky autographed gBlow in the dark snorkelF. But finally a arrived at the world famous ?BAlbBuquerque BHoliBday IFnn?, where the towels are oh so fluffy, and you couFldF eat you?re soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanFnaF, it?s OK their clean. Well I cFhecked into my room and I turned dBown the AC and I turned on the speFctro visionB and I was just about to eat that little cFhocolate mint on my pillow that I lBove so very very much when sudFdenly there?s a knock on the door. FWell now who could that be? I say, ?who FisF it?? No answer. ?Who FisF it?? There?s no answer. ?Who is it!?? They?re not saying anything, so fiFnally I go over and I open the door and jFust as I suspected, it?s some big fat hermFaphrodite with a flock of seagull?s haircut and onFlyF one nostril. Oh man I haFteF it when I?m right. So anyway he bFurst into my room and grBabbes my lucky snorkel and I?m like ?hey, you can?t have that! That snorkel has beFen just like a snorkel to me.? And he?s like ?touFghF? And I?m like ?give it.? And he?s likeF ?Fmake me.? And I?m like ?k.? So I gFrabbed his lFeg and he grBabbed my oesoBphagus and I Fbit off his eFar and he cheBwed off my eyBebrows and I took out his appendix and he gFave me a vaFlonic irrigation yes indeed you better believe it. And FsoFmehow in the middle of it all the phone got knocked off the hoFokF, and twenty seconds later I hearFd Fa familiar voice, and you know what it sFaiFd, I?ll tell you what it said, it said, ?if you?d lFike to mFake a Bcall, pBlease hBang Fup and tFry agBain. BIf yFou need hFelp hang Bup and thBen dial you?re FopeBrator. If you?d lFike to mFake a cBall, plBease hBang Fup and tFry agBain. If yFou need hFelp hang Bup and thBen dial you?re FoperBator. In FA Fm7 B- Bm7 lbuFquerque,B F AF Fm7 -B Bm7 lbuFquerque! Well to Fcut a long story short he got away with my snorkeFl.F But I made a solemn vow right theFn Fand there that I would rest, I would not sleep for an insFtaFnt until the one-nostriled man was brought to justicFe.F But first I decided to buy some donuts. So I gFot in my Fcar and drove oBver to the dBonut shop and I waFlked right up to the guy behind the cBounter and he says ?Fyah,
wadaya want??
E-13--------11--------------11131618------------------1113-| it ain't per--|
B-------------1311--------13--------1816----------1113---------------------| fect but it'l
G-----------------1311------------------171513--13-------------------------| give you some
D---------------------1310--------------------15---------------------------| thing to do
A--------------------------------------------------------------------------| till  you fig
E--------------------------------------------------------------------------| ure it out
I said, ? youF gFot any glazed donuts?? He said, ?FnaFaa were all out of glazed donuts.? I said,F ?Fwell you got any jelly donuts?? HFe Fsaid, ?naaa were all out of jelly donuts.? I saidF, F?you got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?? HeF sFaid, ?naaa were all out of Bavarian cream-filled donutsF.?F I said, ?you got any cinnamon rolls?? He saiFd,F ?naaa were all out of cinnamon rolls.? I saFidF, ?you got any apple fritters!?? He saidF, F?naaa were out of apple fritters.? I saidF, F?you got any bear claws!!?? He said, ?wait a minute, I?ll go check.
E------------------------------------------------16-16-18-16-18-18b-|
B-18v----------------------------------------19-19-18---------------|
G------------------------------19-19-21-19-21-21--------------------|
D-----15v---------19-19-21-19-21-21---------------------------------|
A---------19h20h21--21----------------------------------------------|
E-------------------------------------------------------------------|
E-18-16-16-------------------|
B--------18-16-16------------|
G-------------18-18-15-15----|
D---------------------18-18--|
A-------------------------15-|
E----------------------------|
Naaa were out of bear claws.?F I said, ?well in that case,F iFn that case
what do you have?F? FHe said, ?all I?ve got right now is this box of onFe F
                               E-24b\-|
                               B------|
dozen starving crazed weasels.?G------| I said, ?OK I?ll take that.? So he
                               D------|
                               A------|
                               E------|
hFands over the box and I oBpen up the lid and the weFasels jump out and they immBediately latch onto my faceF and start biting me all over ayiyi yiyiyiyi. Oh, oh man they were just going nutsF! FTheir terin? me apart.F YFou know I think it was just about that time that little ditty started FgoFiFn? through my heaBd.B I believe it went a liFttFlFe something like tBhiBs. ?FDooFoohFgetFemofBfmeBgetBtemBoffmFeooFogeFtemFoffgBettBemoBffoBooohFgetFoooFohgFeoooBhooBoahBhh BhohhFhiaFhhoFoohFahahBahhBhohBhhhBh!?F IF ran out onto the street with these flesh eating FweFasels all over my face, waiving my arms all around aFndF just runnin? and runnin? and runnin? like a constipated wienerF dFog. And as luck would have it, that?s FexFactly when I ran into the girl of my dreamsF, Fher name was ZeldaF. FShe was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite anFd Fhair the colour of strange peachesF. FI?ll never forget the very first thing she said to mFe,F she said, ?hey, you got weasels on your face.?F That?s when I knew it was trFueF love, we were inseparable after that, oh we FatFe together, we bathed together,F wFe even shared the same piece of mint- flavoured dental flosFs.F The world was our burrito. So Fwe got married and we bBought us a house and had tFwo beautiful children, NBathaniel and SuperflyF. Oh we were so very very verFy Fhappy, oh ya. But then one fateful night Zelda said to me, she said, ?Sweetie-pumpkin, do you want to join the Columbia Record Club?F? F F F B B I said, ?WFooooah Bhold on now baby, I?m jFust not ready for that kBind of a commitment.? So Fwe broke up and I never saw her again but that?s jFust tFhe wayF thingsF go, . In FA Fm7 B- Bm7 F lbuqFuerqueB, FA Fm7 B- Bm7 lbFuquerque!
E-16-16-16---16-16-16---16------16b16b17b17b17b18b18b-16-13-----------|
B-18-------18---18----18--18-18-18--------------------------16--------|
G--------------------------------------------------------------14-----|
D-----------------------------------------------------------------15--|
A---------------------------------------------------------------------|
E---------------------------------------------------------------------|
E----------------------------------------20p18p16p11-|
B----------------------------------18-16-------------|
G-17-15----18-18-18-16----19-17----------------------|
D------17-------------16-------17--------------------|
A----------------------------------------------------|
E----------------------------------------------------|
Anyway then things really started looking up for me, becFauFse about a week later I finally achieved myF lFife-long dream. That?s right I got mFe Fa part time job at the ?Sizzler.? I eveFn Fmade employee-of-the-month after I put out that grease-fire with myF fFace. Oh ya everyone was pretty jealous of me FafFter that. I was getting lota attitudeF. FOK like one time, I was out in the parking lot trying FtoF remove my excess earwax with a golf penciFl,F when I see this guy Marty tryin? to carry a big olFd Fsofa up the stairs all by himself. So I-I say to hiFm,F I say, ?hey, you want me to help you with thatF? FAnd Marty he just rolls his eyes and goesF, F?nooooo I want you to cut off my arms and FleFgs with a chain saw.B? So I did.F And theFn he geFts allF inBdignanBt on meB, he?s lBike, ?Fhey mad FI was juFst beinFg saBrcasBtic.B? WelBl tFhat?s just great, how was I supposed to know thatF? FI?m not a mind reader for crying out loud. FBeFsides now he?s got a really cute nickname ?Torso
      E-20-16-18-17-14-16----------------------------------------|
      B-------------------20-16-18-17-13-15----------------------|
F F   G-------------------------------------19-15-17-17-13-15----|
Boy?. D-------------------------------------------------------15-| So
      A----------------------------------------------------------|
      E----------------------------------------------------------|
what?s he complaining about? Say that reminds me of another amusing anecdotFe;F this guy comes up to me on the street and tells me FheF hasn?t had a bite in three days. WelFl FI knew what he meant but just to be funny I tFooFk a big bite out of his jugular vein, and he?s yFelling and scrFeaming and blBeeding all over and I?m like, ?hey come on don?t you get it?? But he just kept rFolling aFround on the sFidewalk bleBeding and Bscreaming, YAFHHHH! OHFHHH! AHBHHH! And I?m cFomFpletely missing the irony of the whole situation, FmaFn some people just can?t take a joke you knowF? FAnyway, uFm?F um? where was IF? FKinda lost my train of thoughtF. FOh, uh, well oh okay FanFyway I know it?s a roundabout way of saying it buFt FI guess the whole point I?m trying to make is, I,F HATE,B SFAURKROUT! That?s all I?m rBeally trying to say, and by the way if oFne day you happen to wBake up and find yourself in an eFxsulstential quBandary full of woeinFg and self doubt and Bwrapped with the pain and isolation Fof you?re pitiful mBeaningless existence, at lFeast even take a small bit of cBomfort in knowing that sFomewhere out there in this crBazy old mixed up uFniverse of oursB, there?s sFtill a little place,B called FA Fm7 B- Bm7lbuqueFrque,B AF Fm7 -B Bm7 lbuFquerque!B AlbuqFuerque, AlbuBquerque, AlbuFquerque, AlbuBquerque, AlbFuquerque, AlbuBquerque, AlbuFquerque, AlbuBquerque, I say FA, A, BL, L, FB, B, BU, U? QFUERQUE! BQUERQUE!F F B B F F B B FAlbuFquerque, BAlbuBquerque, FAlbuFquerque, BAlbuBquerque, FAlbuqFuerque, BAlbuBquerque, FAlbuFquerque, BAlbuBquerque, FAlbuFquerque, BAlbuBquerque, FAlbuFquerque, BAlbuBquerque, FAlbuFquerque, BAlbuBquerque, FAlbuFquerque, BAlbuBquerque, FAlbuquerque,
E-13-13-11-18-16-13-11-13-11/8-6-8-6-4-------1-1-1-1-|
B--------------------------------------1-----1-1-1-1-|
G----------------------------------------3---2-2-2-2-|
D------------------------------------------1/3-3-3-3-| (drum solo)
A--------------------------------------------3-3-3-3-|
E--------------------------------------------1-1-1-1-|
I'm sorry but the last part BI couldn't do because it goes too fast and my fingers are sore. So just play a bunch of notes scaling from the 20th fret to the 1st on the D string and play that awkward chord with lots of electronic phony stuff attached to it. Comments, Questions or maybe even Changes (which I highly doubt) send em to