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Put on your yalmulka, here comes Hanukkah

It¹s so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah,

Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights,

Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

When you feel like the only kid in town without a Xmas tree,

Here¹s a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me:

David Lee Roth lights the menorrah,

So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the Karnickey Deli,

Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli.

pause for giggle

Paul Newman¹s half Jewish; Goldie Hawn¹s half too,

Put them together--what a fine lookin¹ Jew!

You don¹t need ³Deck the Halls² or ³Jingle Bell Rock²

Cause you can spin the dreidl with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish!

Put on your yalmulka, it¹s time for Hanukkah,

The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs celebrates Hanukkah.

O.J. Simpson-- not a Jew!

But guess who is...Hall of Famer--Rod Carew--(he converted!)

We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby,

Harrison Ford¹s a quarter Jewish-- not too shabby!

Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,

Well, he¹s not, but guess who is: All three stooges.

So many Jews are in show biz--

Tom Cruise isn¹t, [tacit] but I heard his agent is.

Tell your friend Veronica, it¹s time you celebrate Hanukkah

I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your marajuanic-ah,

If you really, really wanna-kah, Have a happy, happy, happy, happy

Hanukkah.