Standard (EADGBE)


(Barre) (power chord)

(Done quickly)

I used to be a dead guy

(done quickly

Now I'm a fuckin' Jedi

And I've got lots of news for you

And I've got a long list of things to do

(Done quickly)

I used to dwell on the present

(Done quickly)

I used to be so Hesitant

But now I've got my whole life to live

And I've got all my love to give to all you fuckers that I hayayate

It's like the Gift of the Magi

It's like the Gift of the Magi 2!

You sold your soul to buy some tits

I sold my soul to grow a diiiiiiick

We've gotta get him in the van

What if he resists?

Kick him in the back of the fuckin' head

Put him in the back of the fuckin' Vayayayan

It's a miracle of science,

This portrayal of violence

It lives inside us all

it lives inside our hearts

Just like a stupid fucking tape wooooorm

Play into

Who can we blame?

The husband divorced his wife

after she cut her hair

because she was way less fuckable

And that's just unforgiveable

Moved into a condo

and hung out by the POOOL

He never wore a bathing suit

Because he wanted scope out the talent

If god doesn't like ugly

He does't like anybody

Fuck god anyway

He's osbsolete

My god thinks my jokes are funny


There is no one to blame

People are just fuckin' mean