Standard (EADGBE)

If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse

If you put me in a house, I would much prefer a flat

If you put me in a flat, then I'd rather have a house

If you set me on a mouse, then I only want a rat

If you set me on a rat, then I'd rather chase a mouse

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat

And there isn't any call for me to shout it

For he will do as he do do

And there's no doing anything about it

The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore

When you let me in, then I want to go out

I'm always on the wrong side of every door

And as soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get about

I like to lie in the bureau drawer

But I make such a fuss if I can't get out

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat

And it isn't any use for you to doubt it

For he will do as he do do

And there's no doing anything about it

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast

My disobliging ways are a matter of habit

If you offer me fish, then I always want a feast

When there isn't any fish, then I won't eat rabbit

If you offer me cream, then I sniff and sneer

For I only like what I find for myself

So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears

If you put it away on the larder shelf

The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing

The Rum Tum Tugger

Doesn't care for a cuddle

But I'll leap on your lap in the middle of your sewing

For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat

And there isn't any need for me to spout it

--

For he will do as he do do

And there's no doing anything

abow, awow, about it!