Standard (EADGBE)

Verse 1

Everywhere I go someone's tryin' to by my girlfriend's best friend.

I try to pretend I'm relaxed, but I'm playing castanets with my knees.

I try to be cool and give her space but a guy's always there ready

to jump right up and take my place.

Everyone in this room seems to want to make a big fool out of me.

Chorus

Everybody open your mouth,

Everybody just say "ahh".

Everything will be alright

if you play along.

Verse 2

Everywhere I go there's someone in a trenchcoat staring at me.

When I'm not at home I'm sure someone's rumaging through my trash.

Whatever could they want from me?

Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?

I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentagram shaped rash.

Chorus

(x2)

Everybody open your mouth,

Everybody just say "ahh"

Everything will be alright

This won't hurt at all.

Everybody get in line,

Everybody turn and cough,

Everything will be alright,

if you just lay off.

Bridge

Dictate a memo to myself,

Try to find if I'm the only one in complete health.

Consult contemporaries if there are some to see.

There really isn't anyone who's in my league

But me..

Verse 3

Every night in the lane someone thinks

they've got to find beyond me.

I try to take three deep breaths

as I lock in on my mini-van.

Everyone says I'm looking great,

but it's hard to stand up

let alone to try to concentrate.

I wish that everyone I knew hadn't

sold out to the man.

Chorus

(x2)

Everybody open your mouth,

Everybody just say "ahh"

Everything will be alright

this won't hurt at all.

Everybody get in line,

Everybody turn and cough,

Everything will be alright,

if you just lay..

everything will be alright if you just lay..

everything will be alright if you just lay off

[End on E]