Standard (EADGBE)

Intro

Verse

I said a bad word when I was a kid.

Mamma said that I'd be sorry for the sin that I did.

My daddy whooped me and the preacher said shame.

(Bass line ---F#)

And I tried like hell to change.

Chorus

But I cuss, And I smoke, I laugh at dirty jokes.

The minor vices, man I know 'em well.

I've closed down bars, I've lusted in my heart.

My exes think I oughta burn in hell.

But the devil, he won't notice when I die.

Yeah, don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry?

(Intro)

Verse

Politicians taking pork barrel bribes.

Crooked C.E.O.'s are getting off with no time.

Christmas Eve burglars stealing good children's toys. (Can't say Christmas)

Holiday burglars stealing good children's toys.

Chorus

I cuss, I smoke, I laugh at dirty jokes.

The minor vices, man I know 'em well.

I've closed down bars (yeah, many a one), I've lusted in my heart.

My ex thinks that I oughta burn in hell.

But the devil, won't even notice when I die. (bet he does)

Yeah, don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry?

Serve em up!

Solo

Verse Chords)

Bridge

Yeah there's gonna be bonfire burning

An everlasting barbecue

But with all the bad stuff going on,

There ain't gonna be room for me and you.

(Chorus 2)

'Cause we cuss, We smoke, We laugh at Tater's jokes.

(Tell one Jim: "You know you're old when your wife says

'honey let's run upstairs and make love' and your answer is 'I cannot do both.'")

The minor vices, man we know em well.

We've closed down bars, We've lusted in our hearts.

Our exes think we oughta burn in hell.

(you got it wrong, it's the other way round)

But the devil, he won't notice when we die.

Hey, don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry?

Yeah don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry?

(Pass the tartar sauce)

When we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing it will be.