Standard (EADGBE)
She cooks with lard Loves hot food bars
A quart of sweet tea and fried pork skins
Can't get enough eats till she's stuffed
Go's to the bath room and she comes back again
She thinks she looks just like Madonna
When she runs her greasy fingers through her bleach blond hair
Most sometimes she'll place another order
And lordy have mercy on that little bitty chair
Chorus
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
Eatin me outta house and home
Her booty size well it outta be illegal
She has a hard time sittin on the throne
Hamburgers, Hotdogs
Cheese fries, and Coldslaw
A dozen bear claws yum, yum, yum
Loves sausage links, hates diet drinks
Takes up both seats in a two seater car
Her doctor said, lay off the bread
But he didn't say nothing bout a Snickers bar
She drinks sweet milk by the gallon
And shed never eat a salad or a Lean Cuisine
And she'll lay spread out on the hammock
After she's done her damage at Dairy Queen
Chorus
No you won't find her name on the weight loss of fame
Down at Jennie Craigs
'Cause when she eats em' out at the Waffle House
They'll bring in more ham and eggs