Standard (EADGBE)

Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight

For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight

My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey

And I write this note to say why I am not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear

But tossing them down from such a height was not a good idea

The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod

And he said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod

Well clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow

So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below

But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see

That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead

And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead

I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found

That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down

Well the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped

And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head

But I clung on tightly numb with shock from this almighty blow

While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some fourteen floors below

When these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor

I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more

But I clung on tightly to the rope me body racked with pain

And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again

Now the force of this collision halfway down the office block

Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock

But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground

And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

Now as I lay there on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst

A shower of bricks rained down on me I didn't have a hope

As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier so started down once more

It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor

It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say

I hope you`ll understand why I am not at work today