Standard (EADGBE)

Intro

[Mrs. VanDort]

It's a beautiful day.

[Mr. VanDort]

It's a rather nice day.

[Mrs. VanDort]

A day for a glorious wedding.

[Mr. VanDort]

A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear.

[Mrs. VanDort]

A rehearsal for a glorious wedding.

[Mr. VanDort]

Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know,

[Mrs. VanDort]

That nothing unexpected interferes with the show.

[Mr. And Mrs. VanDort]

And that's why everything, every last little thing,

every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...

[Mrs. VanDort]

According to plan,

[Mr. VanDort]

Our son will be married.

[Mrs. VanDort]

According to plan,

[Mr. VanDort]

Our family carried,

[Mr. And Mrs. VanDort]

We'll go right into the heights of society...

[Mrs. VanDort]

To the costume balls,

[Mr. VanDort]

In the hallowed halls.

[Mrs. VanDort]

Rubbing elbows with the finest.

[Mr. VanDort]

Having crumpets with her highness.

[Mr. And Mrs. VanDort]

We'll be there, we'll be seen, having tea with the queen.

We'll forget everything...that we've ever ever been.

[Mrs. Everglot]

It's a terrible day

[Mr. Everglot]

Now don't be that way

[Mrs. Everglot]

It's a terrible day for a wedding.

[Mr. Everglot]

It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in,

[Mrs. Everglot]

That has led to this ominous wedding.

[Mr. Everglot]

How could our family have come to this?

[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]

To marry off our daughter to the noveaux rich.

[Mrs. Everglot]

They're so common,

[Mr. Everglot]

So coarse.

[Mrs. Everglot]

Oh, it couldn't be worse!

[Mr. Everglot]

It couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree.

It could be land rich bankrupt aristocracy,

without a penny to their name...just like you...and me.

[Mrs. Everglot]

Oh, dear.

[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]

And that's why everything, every last little thing,

every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...

[Mrs. Everglot]

According to plan,

[Mr. Everglot]

Our daughter will wed.

[Mrs. Everglot]

According to plan,

[Mr. Everglot]

Our family lead,

[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]

From the depths of deepest poverty,

[Mrs. Everglot]

To the noble realm,

[Mr. Everglot]

Of our ancestors.

[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]

And who'd have guessed in a million years that our daughter, with the face

[Mr. Everglot]

of an otter in disgrace,

[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]

Would provide our ticket to our rightful place?

[Victoria (speaking)]

What if Victor and I don't...like each other?

[Mrs. Everglot (speaking)]

Do you suppose your father and I like each other?

[Victoria (speaking)]

Surely you must...a little...

[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot (speaking)]

Of course not!

[Mrs. Everglot (speaking)]

Get those corsets laced properly...I can hear you speak without gasping.

Marriage is a partnership. A little tit for tat.

You'd think a lifetime watching us (singing) might have taught her that.

Might have taught her that.

[Mr. Everglot]

Everything must be perfect

[Mrs. Everglot]

Everything must be perfect

[Mr. and Mrs. Everglot]

Everything must be perfect, perfect,

[The VanDorts and the Everglots]

That's why everything, every last little thing,

every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...According to plan!