Standard (EADGBE)
I know that it matters.. but that mean doesnt mean you should care
I left my wife and only child for a girl at the Renaissance Faire
Her name was Rowena: she came from Camelot
She spoke with the darlingest English accent...
or at least thats what I thought
Chorus
Her bosoms were heaving..
her hair smelled like steak...
she poured me beer from her lips and I drank and I drank
Well, I quit selling software; bought an RV
Picked up some cashews for Rowena
I drove us from sea to shining sea
she did the Ren Faire in Phoenix
she did the Ren Faire in joliet
she did the Ren Faire in Fredricksburg
Fredricksburg isnt over her yet
Chorus
Her bosoms were heaving..
her hair smelled like steak...
she poured me beer from her lips and I drank and I drank
Some nights she got cranky
some nights she got mean
some nights she got busy behind the snow cone machine.
But I always forgave her when she came home and cried.
No, I never felt down on my luck when I woke up with Rowena by my side.
Chorus
Her bosoms were heaving..
her hair smelled like steak...
she poured me beer from her lips and I drank and I drank
one day she went jousting out in west Tennessee
she took a lance to the helmet shattered most of her teeth
she lost an eye in a bar fight lost her leg to gangrene
ah but you know Rowena my love still the darlingest thing
Chorus
Her bosoms were heaving..
her hair smelled like steak...
she poured me beer from her lips and I drank and I drank
and it was raining in Downey when I asked her to wed she said
what are you crazy? and she hopped out of bed
she knocked over the table and she hopped to the door
she said I dont sign contracts and left my life forevermore
Chorus
Her bosoms were heaving..
her hair smelled like steak...
she poured me beer from her lips and I drank and I drank
Now Im heading for the desert gonna burn this RV
tell your mommy that Id loved her and stay away from men like me
I would tell you I was following my heart
and Id do anything to make you care
but I gave up everything I had for a girl at the renaissance faire
--and Id do it again!
Chorus
Her bosoms were heaving..
her hair smelled like steak...
she poured me beer from her lips and I drank and I drank
she poured me beeEEEEr...
So yeah. Good luck with that!