Standard (EADGBE)

I bought no gifts this year

And I slept with your sister

I know I should have thought twice before I kissed her

But with the year we had last

And the dress that she wore

I just went along for the ride

And I came back for more

And I’m sorry, baby

(That’s all okay honey cause see)

I bought no tree this year

And I slept with your brother

I wrecked your Daddy’s car

And went down on your Mother

I set your record collection on fire

And said I never knew

Felt kind of bad about that

And I know you did too

So whatever you say, it’s all fine by me

Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

Cause the snow keeps on fallin

Even though we were bad

It’ll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

And spend this Christmas together

I married you last year

Bet you thought I was sober, right?

But I was drunk as a skunk and I made a mistake you see

This could all have been over

Ah honey please don’t excuse your behaviour

Cause I hired a hitman and changed your will

It’s now all in my favour

So whatever you say, it’s all fine by me

Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

Cause the snow keeps on fallin

Even though we were bad

It’ll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

Holding on without any reason

Cause something’s strong (something’s strong)

This holiday season (this holiday season)

So whatever you say, it’s all fine by me

And who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

Cause the snow keeps on fallin

Even though we were bad

It’ll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Christ-Christmas together

(repeat)