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Standard (EADGBE)

Verse

 You wonder why nobody ever seems to talk to you

 After all, you use an aerosol and you've got three pairs of shoes

 You got yourself a little education and you keep up with the news

A little rapid riff of:

 But when you walk in to a party everybody stares

 The girls drop drinks into their laps and the boys fall off their chairs

 Oh, but you're all alone when everybody's leaving in pairs

[A little rapid riff of:]

 If you ever stopped a moment and thought about your ears

(Big, aren't they?" "I suppose they are")

 Or that noise you make when you've had a bottle of beer

 Oh, try to make a mental leap and perhaps it will come clear

Chorus

Ohhh,

 You're the man with the head of an ass

 You're the man with the head of an ass

 You're the man with the head of an ass

 And that's crass