Festival Of Farts Chords

Standard (EADGBE)

IC come from an outback town where fFuckin nothin gCrows

No wFheat no sheep soC we cant even Ghost an annual Gshow

But wCe got somethin special there that sFets our town Capart

CFoz each year in a Cshed we hold the Gfestival of fCarts

[C) F C

Theres displays and competitions And entries from afar

And thosFe that cant get Cinto town justG send in littleG jars

And oCld fat sarge the local cop with cliFpboard and a Cpen

UnscrewFs the lid and takeCs a whiff then scGores em 1 to C10

He'll give you 2C points for Aroma

2F for the bouquCet

2F for fermentCation

And 2G more for decay

ACnd two for presentation of the fanFcy little jarsC

And a mFedal for the beCst fart at the feGstival of fCarts

ACnd you should see the mob this year That crFamed into the Cshed

HeaFr the big guns bClazing In the fGarting talent QGUest

WCith old sarge on a megaphone as he rFeads the riot Cact

'' Now setFtle down you baCstards, can you hGear me at the Cback

NCow we'll give em all a go alright, and Fbutt them cigaCrettes

And aFny of you cunts pClay up tonight, i'll bGust ur fuckin hGead''

And Che unfolds his directors chair And squaFts on his fat Carse

To adFjudicate the enCtries in the fGestival of fCarts

He'll give you 2C points for Aroma

2F for the bouquCet

2F for fermentCation

And 2G more for decay

And tCwo for presentation, stFyle and grace and cClass

And a Fmedal for the bCest fart at the fGestival of fCarts

Then Cthe crowd roars its approval As the fFirst bloke lets oneC go

Fuckin thuFnder from down unCder To oGpen up the shoGw

Then Ca double burblin gurgler With a cFhilli afterbCurn

Then aF downdraft knacker clCanger Shit that mGust have fuckin hCurt

And the siClence single singer That toFok us by surCprise

And a noFtchous nostril buCrner That bruGng tears to our eGyes

And oCld sarge the cranky bastard Sat there addFing up the mCarks

As popFular as eCmbroids at the feGstival of fCarts

coz he'll get 2C points for Aroma

2F for the bouquCet

2F for fermentCation

And 2G more for decay

And tCwo for presentation, stFyle and grace and cClass

And a meFdal for the beCst fart at the feGstival of fCarts

But the hiCghlight of the show this year Was twoF kids with a goaCt

That they'd fFed on rocks and rCotten eggs And dGragged in on a roGpe

And as oneC young fella grabbed his horns to liFne old billy uCp

His mateF just warned the ground the goaCts arse and feck Gkicked him in the

gCuts

(C (F C

And that old goat fired a fuckin beauty Like a shotgun goin off

And fired a Flethal load of grCavel shrapnel Scared sGhit out of the moGb

And as theCy all dived for cover and hiFt the deck in feCar

Old sargFe just kept on mCarkin buck shot wGhizzin past his eCars

He'd give em 2C points for Aroma

2F for the bouquCet

2F for fermentCation

And 2G more for decay

And all inC all that bloated goat had pFrobably scored aC ten

Except his faFrtin shit and shoCt old fuckin saGrge arse over heaGd

Then with Call of the confusion And no Fcunt keepin scorCe

And oFld sarge fuckin sCcreamin They just pGissed off out theG door

And even whCen the dust had settled NFo-one seemed to Ccare

that they'd fFucked off with the mCedal Coz they'd wGon it fair and sqCuare

That goat got C2 points for Aroma

2F for the bouquCet

2F for fermentCation

And 2G more for decay

And tChree big cheers from all of us For pFay back on old sCarge

and a Fmedal for the Cbest fart at the Gfestival of fCarts

That goat got C2 points for Aroma

2F for the bouquCet

2F for fermentCation

And 2G more for decay

And tChree big cheers from all of us For wFingin poor old sCarge

and a mFedal for the bCest fart at the fGestival of faCrts