Standard (EADGBE)

She makes a lot of abstract art

She haggles for the cheapest price

She never orders take out food before ten o'clock at night

She's really into snowmobiles

She owns a lot of nice flashlights

She cares for all the stupid cats that never found their way home

She shaves her legs with Ginsu knives

She quotes a lot of Annie Hall

She misplaced her virginity back in 1995

Prechorus

She's what's keeping me alive

She's the pizza of my eye

Without her near me I would not survive

Chorus

It gets cold when she's not around

I float until I sink and I'm swallowed up

It's so cold when she's not around

I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine

She's always eating Captain Crunch

She sings a lot of Ben Folds Five

She's scared to death of cobra snakes

Just like Indiana Jones

She tells the dumbest knock-knock jokes

She drinks a lot of Chardonnay

She hates the way I comb my hair

Prechorus

But she married me last June

She was the bride, I was the groom

I cried a lot and then we spooned

Without her in my life I would be doomed

Chorus

It gets cold when she's not around

I float until I sink and I'm swallowed up

It's so cold when she's not around

I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine

Tell me I'll be fine

She loves the smell of Christmas trees

She sneezes when she sees bright lights

She fainted on the kitchen floor

When her father passed away

Like Prechorus:

Our baby girl is due this May

And when the little lady grows up

I hope that she will be just like her mother

End on