Standard (EADGBE)

Sometimes I long for the solitary life

Parents long gone, no kids, no wife

Sister somewhere in Australia never did keep in touch

Sex no more than a how-do-ye-do

With a copy of Tit-Bits in the loo

Socially a bit of a failure, nice not to have to try too much

Chorus

A solitary life, a life of small horizons

Dull as the pewter sky over North West Eleven

A serious hobby in the garden shed

Model trains, or soldiers in lead

Join the suburban boffins of Britain, experts on trivial things

And holidays in the Yorkshire Dales

Or cycling tours of the North of Wales

Unenvious of those flea-bitten on continental flings

Chorus

Excitement comes by subtle means

The satisfaction of routines

Small revenges at the office, smug little victories

You work on your pallor, complexion like paste

Like the grey defeat on an inmates face

A life spent adding losses and profits, resigning by degrees

Chorus

And come to the end, sad and alone

A steady reliable tumour you’ve grown

From selfish years, while all your peers have stressfully jogged to health

In life you always were quite numb

And foggier now, you soon succumb

In drab St. Barts on the new by-pass, death overcomes by stealth

Chorus