Standard (EADGBE)
Intro
Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe
He'll slit your throat and cut off your big toe (I tell you)
He'll make you smile from ear to ear
Gonna lock you in the trunk for ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bum, bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum, bum bum bum bum
... bum, bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum, bum bum bum bum
I had a cousin, came from Vermont
Next thing I know that cousin was gone
Truckdriver saw him picking up Hitchhiker Joe
Now his spleen's on the sidewalk helping flowers grow
My best friend Eddie called from L.A.
Said we'd have dinner later that day
I got the feeling and it's more than a hunch
My poor friend Eddie was that hitchhiker's lunch
Refrain
Hitchhiker Joe ain't no vegetarian
If you see him on the highway steer clear of him
He got a knife in his sock and a razor up his sleeve
And a chainsaw in his pack and he's gonna make you bleed... yeah yeah!
["Bum" part of Refrain]
My girlfriend Lois called from Tallahasee
She picked up that dude at the Spam factory
That was the last time that I saw her smile
My best advice is, "Don't eat Spam for awhile!"