Standard (EADGBE)

Doesn't have a problem with drugs,

He just doesn't do them,

He's fine that his mates have tattoos,

But he reckon's they'll rue them,

And all he's ever wanted to be

Is a rock star on RAGE or MTV,

But he knows that it's not very likely,

Now that he's thirty he knows that...

He will always be

A rock'n'roll nerd,

He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear,

And though the won't be heard

He'll keep on writing, oh yeah,

But you see the problem is

He always thought he'd be a star,

But he learnt piano instead of guitar,

Which in the nineties didn't get you very far,

So while the other kids were learning Stairway

He was the piano to their forte,

But he was convinced one day

He'd rock their fucking arses,

Or be an icon for the disenfranchised masses,

Grow his hair long and rebel against the state,

But for now that'd have to wait,

'Cause he's running late for his morning classes.

While his mates all stay out late,

Popping pills and havin fun,

He stays home and showers,

And gets a good eight hours,

He gets his thrills from his morning run,

While his mates all go on dates,

Taking speed and drinking cans of Beam,

He stays home and cooks,

And curls up with a book,

And the girl he's had since he was seventeen

'Cause he's never really been part of the scene,

While the other kids liked Gunners he liked Queen,

He's more into Beatles that the Stones,

He's more Stevie Wonder than Ramones,

He never owned a panel van,

He never shot a Sepultura fan,

He doesn't know the difference between metal and thrash,

He couldn't tell you nothing about Axl and Slash,

He likes Ben Folds and The Jackson Five,

He knows all the words to Stayin' Alive,

And although he wants to be all grungy and cool

He spent eleven years in a private school,

So it doesn't matter how hard he tries,

He cannot hide behind his rock'n'roll lies,

'Cause you've either got it or you don't,

Yeah, you'll either rock it or you won't,

You've either got it or you don't,

Yeah, you'll either rock it or you wont.

You can criticise him and he won't care,

'Cause he wants to rock, and he will never be deterred,

He'll always be a fucked-up little tryhard wannabe rock'n'roll nerd.