Standard (EADGBE)

Right now you are down and out

and feeling really crappy

And when I see how sad you are

It sort of makes me... Happy!

Sorry, Buddy, human nature-

Nothing I can do!

It's... Schadenfreude!

Making me feel glad that I'm not you.

D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls

and drops a tray of glasses?

And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters

falling on their asses?

And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,

Watching people out in the rain!

Schadenfreude!

People taking pleasure in your pain!

Watching a vegetarian

being told she just ate chicken

Or watching a frat boy realize

just what he put his dick in!

Being on the elevator

when somebody shouts "Hold the door!" NO!!!

Schadenfreude!

"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"

Straight-A students getting Bs?

Exes getting STDs!

Waking doormen from their naps!

Watching tourists reading maps!

Football players getting tackled!

CEOs getting shackled!

Watching actors never reach

The ending of their oscar speech!

Schadenfreude!

Schadenfreude!

Schadenfreude!

Schadenfreude!

S------N--R--U--!

Hope you enjoy this-- it's perhaps the funniest musical EVER. And a really nice, mean song.

--M. Miller