Standard (EADGBE)
Old Mr. Johnson had troubles of his own
He had a yellow cat which wouldn't leave its home
He tried & he tried to give the cat away
He gave it to a man going far, far away
Chorus
But the cat came back the very next day
The cat came back, they thought he was a goner
But the cat came back, it just couldn't stay
Away [you can either combine this with the line above or make it its own line]
The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite
He waited & he waited for the cat to come around
97 pieces of the man is all they found
Chorus
He gave it to a fisherman with a dollar note
Told him for to take it up the river in a boat
They tied a rope around its neck, it must have weighed a pound
But they had to drag the river for the fisherman was drowned
Chorus
He gave it to a man going up in a balloon
He told him for to take it to the man in the moon
The balloon came down about 90 miles away
And where he is now I dare not say
Chorus
He gave it to a man goin' way out west
Told him for to take it to the one he loved the best
First the train hit the curve, then it jumped the rail
Not a soul was left behind to tell the gruesome tail
Chorus
The atom bomb fell one bright summer day
Then they dropped the H-bomb the very same way
Russia went, England went & then the USA
The human race was finished without a chance to pray